R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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