New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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