Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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