i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
