You did not just play the dead husband card again.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
