I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Randomize
