The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
