im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
