So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
