My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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