So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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