If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Omg I joined a choir last night...
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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