That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Randomize
