Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
You were trust falling into bushes
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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