he shaved USA in his pubs
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
