Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
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