Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
