Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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