I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
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