I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
