I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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