i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
