there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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