Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
