i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
the day after is always just damage control
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
