I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I'm getting married
To pizza
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
