I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
