it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Randomize
