I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Randomize
