It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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