He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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