I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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