i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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