I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
