i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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