i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
