You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Randomize
