woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
It was confusing and full of hummus
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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