just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
