In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
