dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize
