sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
