On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
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