But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
