For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
