Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
