just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
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