so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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