he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
