Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
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