Rock
Scissors
Fuck
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
