So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
It's just like the Real World with babies
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Randomize
