Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
