his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Randomize
