I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
