His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
